The answer to this question is complex and multifaceted, as there is no one-size-fits-all answer that applies to all narcissists. However, there are some general patterns that tend to emerge when it comes to how long a narcissist can go without contacting someone before reaching back out.
Firstly, it’s important to understand that narcissists struggle with feelings of abandonment and rejection. This is because their sense of self-worth is often tied up in external validation, such as attention, admiration, or adoration from others. When this validation is absent or withdrawn, narcissists may feel a profound sense of emptiness or worthlessness. In order to cope with these feelings, they may engage in behaviors such as seeking attention from other sources, or attempting to reestablish contact with a former partner or source of validation.
The length of time a narcissist can go without contacting someone can vary based on a number of factors. These factors include the severity of their narcissism, the length and intensity of the previous relationship, and their overall level of attachment to the person. For example, a highly narcissistic individual who has been in a long-term relationship with someone they view as a primary source of validation may struggle to go even a few days without attempting to reestablish contact. Conversely, a less severe narcissist who has only had a brief interaction with someone may be able to go a longer period of time before feeling the need to reach out.
Another important factor to consider is the reason for the no contact. If the no contact was initiated by the narcissist, they may be more likely to attempt to reestablish contact sooner rather than later. This is because they may view the no contact as a challenge or a form of rejection, which triggers their fear of abandonment and rejection. In this case, the length of time they are willing to go without contacting someone may be shorter than if the no contact was initiated by the other person.
However, if the no contact was initiated by the other person, the narcissist may be more likely to view it as a form of punishment or control. In this case, they may be more willing to go a longer period of time without attempting to reestablish contact, as they may be more focused on regaining control or seeking attention from other sources.
It’s also important to recognize that narcissists may use no contact as a tool to manipulate and control their partners or sources of validation. For example, they may use the silent treatment as a way to punish or control someone, rather than genuinely needing space or time to reflect. In this case, any attempts to reestablish contact may be motivated by their need for control or validation, rather than genuine interest or concern.
If you are considering going no contact with a narcissist, it’s important to establish clear boundaries and stick to them. This may involve blocking them on social media or avoiding places where you know they are likely to be. It can also be helpful to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the emotional toll of breaking ties with a narcissist.
Ultimately, the decision to maintain no contact or to engage with a narcissist is a personal one that should be based on your own emotional and mental wellbeing. It’s important to prioritize your own needs and safety above any potential attempts by a narcissist to reestablish contact. Remember that a narcissist’s behavior is unlikely to change, and that any attempts to maintain contact may only prolong the cycle of emotional abuse and manipulation.
